#i was like does that have smth to do with memory
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Helena Eagan going to see Mark and styling her hair like Helly (because for the most part she doesn't wear her hair like Helly does. I think it's another intentional way of separating herself from Helly) and trying to, in my opinion, spark smth from him because *she* remembers the tent moment but he of course doesn't is so cringe fail of her. I love it. Like this cult leader's daughter going "tehe let's go see Mark. We got down and dirty in the tent so this will do something. Maybe he'll like. Instinctively remember me or be drawn to me. Especially if I dress up like Helly." and then not giving enough of a shit to show she actually cares about his wife by saying the wrong name because you know she just fucking skimmed that file.
She's treating her time with Mark's Innie like she instead spent time with Mark's Outie even though those memories don't overlap. Of course they are the same person, but they have different experiences. Even if they would react similarly or even the same.
It's just interesting especially because Helena is trying to erase herself so she can be what she thinks Mark wants in that moment. Which is Helly. But let's be real, Outie Mark wouldn't be that impacted by seeing her presenting as Helly vs Helena. Because he doesn't have all those experiences with Helly that Innie Mark doe
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n's cute little hum from pokemas has Devastated me
#pokemon#n harmonia#natural harmonia gropius#pokemon n#clai's art#HE'S SO CUTE..............#i dont remember hearing this ingame whete does it happen..... ofc i do just have an awful memory maybe i just Forgor#going through the lines i dont know where a Lot of them play actually. he had lines about giving the player area info?#idk if that was just for an old version of pokemas or what. characters dont give you area info like that at the moment#i clicked on a video about funny pokemas voicelines bc it was in the recommended#theres one emmet line where it sounds like he stubbed his toe really hard or smth. in what context do these sounds play BDJBFJHF#anyway thats besides the point. the point here is i love n so much
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I find it so fun how much drusilla revels in being a demon compared to spike who just sorta... is. he likes being a vampire, let's not get that twisted! but one of my favourite lines in the entire show is drusilla going "oh well I'm not a person see" in lie to me and I don't know if spike has like any lines like that? I mean maybe little jokes and snips here and there but drusilla knows she's not human and won't even entertain the idea of being treated as such
#I don't want to seem like I'm saying spike doesn't care. he very much enjoys being a vampire he does not want to be human#but drusilla is at like a whole other level#spike will do what he wants in order to fit in whether that be vampires or humans or whatever#drusilla is a demon through and through and has no want to possibly pretend otherwise#I don't like the use of pretend bc spike doesn't either. he just assimilates himself when he cares to. but I can't think of a better word#what I'm saying is drusilla would never fit in with the scoobies bc she wouldn't even like. try?#someone tell me ur getting me here#I know... I haven't watched it in many many months here but ik about stuff to do with the judge saying drusilla isn't pure demon#she's got too much humanity in her or smth like that. but I don't think it's humanity so much as memory. like she can't let go#not that she's like spike where he's just not the best at being a straight up pure unadulterated evil demon#though I also fully believe her love of spike doesn't help. but she loves him like a demon and he loves her like a man is the difference#guess who finished her seventh reread of pet by sigyn and is having drusilla thoughts again#spike btvs#drusilla btvs#btvs#buffy the vampire slayer
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had to draw this to understand the way i feel about him now that the manga's ended. 🥲 on that note: if you like hawks and his ending, maybe don't read my tags lol. it's not bashing (imo) but they're not v nice. 😅
bg + unobstructed pose under the cut!
his expression's a lil different 'cuz i only changed the merged layer, all the lighting effects already flattened onto it. 💀 alas.
#hawks#mha hawks#bnha hawks#takami keigo#keigo takami#bnha#bnha fanart#mha#mha fanart#spoilers#bnha spoilers#mha spoilers#it's not very positive lol i don't really like the way his character ended 🥲#i think his hero worship for endeavor blinded him from seeing or doing anything that could make a difference#i was so let down when he didm't have any sort of critique or moral dilemma after the touya reveal#and just immediately supported endeavor--it made me think he wss incapable of being critical of his idol.#only further underscored with the way he remembers his endeavor plushie while he defends the rabking system.#like. he thinks about his childhood toy of his hero while he defends the system that ultimately caused that ''hero'' to ruin his family.#so blinded by that pedestal that he unironically thinks about the BIGGEST example of why the ranking system does NOT work#WHILE he defends said system.#he was introduced as this morally complicated guy and instead of his childhood worship of a flawed guy making him more interesting#by having him really THINK about what it means that his hero inadvertently created a super villain#he was instead flattened into an endeavor fan boy. and even tho he was introduced as a guy w a complicated bg of#villainous father + harshly trained by the HPSC from a young age he still doesn't do very much with the system of which he's gained charge.#if he thought of the plushie as a memory of what it meant to have a symbol of hope in his hands it's like...#hawks... abolishing the ranking system wont stop merch and news articles and good PR from happening...#anyways yeah. he was one of my faves for a really long time but the way he ends... i dont like that guy.#that being said him becoming president of the HPSC isnt smth i hate even tho idve given him a vacay and his sought-after free time.#and i like that he brings a katana around now. i tried to make the projection make it look like his epilogue self has wings.#oh and i hated the tiny epilogue panel that made it look like endeavor replaced his entire set of kids. :) just. absolutely loathed it. :))
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more zombie au :] (1.2k words)
The odor of rot has joined the damp growth of life from pots. Even if some things die off without human aid, there are always stronger elements that thrive in their absence.
The aisles are overgrown. Ritsu brushes past the vines as gently as he can, wooden floor groaning under his worn soles. There’s a gap of empty space in the middle of each aisle that he slots through, eyes roaming the shelves of largely useless things. Stronger stems snag onto his backpack and he tugs distractedly while perusing the labeled pots along the tables.
The barn is quaint, and Ritsu thinks he would love to stay. Moss eats at the boards under his feet and bugs swarm around him in the hot air incessantly, but it’s peaceful and there’s a constant sprinkle of sound to his ears that have grown so used to silence. Whoever owned this place beforehand put up a few wind chimes indoors—they must’ve always had the front entrance open for customers.
It’s a quiet little homemade garden center, or something similar, on the side of the highway. It’s an overgrown property with something dead in the backyard that Ritsu refuses to acknowledge or let Shigeo near. The shingles and boards in the roof have been replaced with polyethylene sheets—a barn-turned-greenhouse, uprooted from the hay and cattle it likely used to house and settled back into the Earth to be a paradise for plants.
There’s a large branch hanging through a hole poked into the plastic overhead. It sways with the wind and the chimes that follow, and Ritsu whistles with the leadless melody and gives it a direction while he studies old seed packets.
They didn’t stop here for any particular reason—a garden center doesn’t have much for apocalypse survivors, but Shigeo has always liked overgrown things. He’d always enjoyed taking care of their mother’s plants back home, and then Reigen’s at the office. His brother likes the humidity of greenhouses and the smell of soil and dirt and must.
He sees the top of Shigeo’s head over the aisles, across the barn. He walks past a shovel hanging on the wall and yelps out a grunt when it clangs to the floor behind him. Ritsu shakes his head and smiles, running his fingers along faded price tags.
The feeling of greenhouses has always had this… wet fullness, to Ritsu.
When he breathes in it’s like he can taste the life that breathes out and it feels like a conversation, a question and an answer, both of which he’s not sure how to articulate. The leaves wave to him and he waves back, the once-active sprinklers pepper his skin with dots, with compliments, with proclamations they are eager to share. The vines weave between fencing just to reach him, just to talk.
He understands why Shigeo likes it, and why he’d always asked to accompany their mother on trips to get new seeds. Ritsu hadn’t really understood, then, how pretty it could be, how full it could feel.
Shigeo had always been right about loving the little things. Ritsu wishes he’d seen that sooner.
His brother ambles down the aisle ahead of him and he listens to the quiet patter of his sloppy footwork, moving around a table of seed trays. His whistles carry across the barn, sort of aimless in their own right instead of leading the wind and the chimes somewhere worthwhile, but the sounds soak into the overhead plastic nicely, so he keeps going.
He pulls back a layering of vines and leaves to scan the contents of another shelf, and then he notices Shigeo stop in his peripherals. His dirty shoes stay planted in the corner of his vision, leaves burying the toes, and Ritsu looks away from the products.
He means to say something, to ask him what’s up even if saying things to Shigeo very rarely results in productivity, but he stops when he realizes his brother’s head is… tilted.
He’s looking at him with as much inquisitiveness as his dulled down awareness can muster, pale eyes flickering across Ritsu’s face like he’s working out some puzzle. He instinctively stops whistling, brain lagging behind on this new info of this new behavior, and the sound fizzles out into a little huff of air that leaves the greenhouse feeling oddly empty.
Shigeo studies him for a moment longer, blinking slowly, and then he straightens his head out as Ritsu stares back. His brother’s gaze lingers there on his mouth, like he’s still confused, like he still expects something to happen.
Ritsu blinks once, twice. The wind chimes call as wind pokes at his greasy spikes, as it prods at the ends of his jacket and fills the silence with a different flavor of itself. The interest in the zombie’s eyes fades a little, gaze straying to the vines around them.
Very tentatively, Ritsu wets his lips and blows. The whistle grabs his brother’s attention immediately, and he’s suddenly tilting his head like a curious dog.
He can’t help the laugh that spills out and makes the whistle a mess of exhales. His shoulders shake a little and he hurries to keep the tune steady and consistent; a few seconds pass and Shigeo tilts his head the other way, exhausted eyes big and more alert than they’ve been in days.
Ritsu experiments, and ventures around with the sound—goes lower and higher and watches his brother twist his head back and forth like he’s trying to understand calculus. There’s something very innocent about it, about the look in his eyes that reminds him of when they were kids and their father would show them magic tricks.
It’s muted by the ever-present fog there in his pupils, but Ritsu thinks he sees a spark of that life in them, of that curiosity born from a mind that knows little. He gives him a simple sensation, a simple experience, and his brother is eating it all up like he’s four again, like he’s new and everything is colorful and unknown and big.
Ritsu watches Shigeo tilt his head back and forth, watches the rusty gears behind his window panes move. He changes tactics, because some sad part of him tells him to, and whistles Shigeo’s favorite song instead.
He remembers the name, but he doesn’t need the name because when he thinks of the tune he thinks of his brother, and that’s all that matters. It’s happy, because Shigeo likes happy music. It’s chipper and yet it meanders, like it’s willingly getting lost, like it’s wandering where it wants to and it’ll eventually find its roots again. It’s happy the whole time. The whole adventure.
Shigeo stops tilting his head, and the gears behind his eyes churn a little bit faster. His gaze clings to Ritsu’s and his brother makes actual eye contact, sinks his own being into Ritsu’s head when he’s least prepared for it. The recognition in his gaze has his soul souring.
He keeps whistling. He doesn’t want to stop, because Shigeo feels like Shigeo right now, and he doesn’t want that to stop.
His brother stares. Ritsu’s grief tints the music.
#qkwrites#zombie au#mp100 ritsu#ritsu kageyama#shigeo kageyama#mp100 shigeo#mp100 mob#every time i think about this au too long i am filled with despair#last line of this . damn i was cookin#ritsu's grief tints Everything he does in this world#he's fucking haunted by it and it's awful bc it's not like he can just.not think abt it#bc the source of his grief is Shigeo. and shigeo still breathes and walks and reacts to things ritsu does like he's alive#and he Is alive. he's very much alive#but there is a lot missing. and ritsu Feels the absence every fucking second#it's like walking into a house that used to have another person in it. and all the familiar sounds ur used to will never be made again#it's very empty and stagnant and the things that Do stay are Different#and it changes a lot. one minute ritsu will be having an okay day—best mood u could possibly have in an apocalypse anyway#and then he looks over and shigeo is doing smth that he used to do Before but it's wrong and a little bit to the left#and without the life in it#pure muscle memory on shigeo's part#and suddenly ritsu's mood drops So fast and he's so Exhausted from these mood swings he keeps having#u know that thing that goes like .uhhhh grief doesn't fade life just gets bigger around it. or smth#yeah ritsu's life isn't rly getting bigger. he is not moving away from the grief bc the source of it keeps staring him in the face
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thinking of that post that's like being a picky eater as a kid just means i get to experience the joy of trying so many foods as an adult. i have some new foods planned for this week after i move including stir fried sweet and sour veggies + rice and omurice (really simple fried rice... may add veggies to it later if i like it but one step at a time). will let you guys know how it goes
#shay speaks#i want to try and eat healthier and its going to start somewhere on god#i tried doing this last year but living with someone else really hindered my mental ability to do that#mostly bc. she took up so much space in our fridge#having my fridge and freezer 2 myself is going to help a lot i hope. and no other people to walk in on me cooking#it's going to be a slow process but i want to have a better relationship with food#my other goal is to have at least one higher effort meal a week. if not more but at least one#higher effort than making like maccy cheese or pizza rolls yeah?#also i was in the middle of typing my tags when my parents called me up for dinner and then served smth that makes my arfid#flare up. which is meatballs. they marinated the meatballs in the sauce which does wonders for my brain thinking smth is inedible#meat is still a hard no most of the time for me so uhm. not fun.#too many awful memories around that in particular. same with alfredo lmao i've briefly mentioned why i hate alfredo here before#horrible horrible sauce do not put me in the same room as it please and thankies#anyway.
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The eternal tension between genuinely wanting to watch/read good horror media and wanting to sleep for the next week.
#I was trying to watch through HBomberGuy’s pathologic video again#because I do really genuinely like Pathologic and I think he does a good job of explaining why it’s cool#but I had to stop about 15 minutes in bc the anxiety thoughts started and I clicked ‘it is late at night’#‘if I keep watching I will not sleep’#I wish I had thicker skin when it comes to horror#even little things get to me p bad even when they’re not related to any trauma or anything#like there was this one game that the sleepover society played through#it was rly cool and I loved it bc it has that old Win95 aesthetic#complete w/ DOS startup interface showing up each in game day#old outlook style email#it’s so fun#but it is a horror game. even though the horror is 1) clearly implausible to real life and 2) not Smth that’s related to anything religious#it’s abt a pest company that fields calls and at first it starts normal#you get calls and you have tabs to click on abt different pests like raccoons and ants and stuff#and some stuff for like. black mold. house problems you might mistake for pests.#and then it nosedives into ‘tiny creatures that live and your walls and if you don’t give them offerings they turn into boggarts and eat you#or fae which claim your house and swallow you alive’#and that’s genuinely cool worldbuilding and I liked it and I loved the ending of it#but I did struggle to sleep for days afterwards bc I got irrational thoughts like ‘what if the pretend glowy fungus is real’#bc a lot of the horror creatures were stuff that you explicitly wouldn’t notice or would write off as being poor memory or regular pests#like plucking your dreams out of your head or a mirror making you forget who you are#spookie. to me. and I know that’s the point I just feel like it’s the equivalent of calling paprika spicy.
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I've known it deep down for a long time but I need to get better at managing my mental health, especially at uni
#like wdym for for a whole semester i had near weekly panic attacks and i just!!!! shrugged it off!!!!!!!!#“oh well thursdays are like this” THEY DIDN'T HAVE TO BE THAT'S NOT NORMAL#just because it's normal *for me* does not mean it should be normal#“yeah i average 1-2 panic attacks a month” GIRLIE NO WHY ARE YOU SO CASUAL ABOUT THIS YOU ARE ABLE TO DO SMTH ABOUT IT#i have a lot more going on responsibility and academic wise in 2nd year and i Cannot be doing that again#rest assured i have way more happy memories than bad ones of first year but my housemates don't need to be concerned about me screaming#crying throwing up spasming even when i get a bad panic attack#i appreciate their help ofc but i need to take care of and responsibility for myself yknow#anyways here ends my saturday night musings#ellis exclaims
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thinking abt the horror inherent to cornfields again. maybe I’m just british and have never seen cornfields (I know we DO grow it over here but I haven’t like. seen it) but the thought of an annual crop plant growing THAT TALL (average 2.5m/8ft) for us to just eat the grain feels viscerally wrong. wheat is like 1.2m/4ft you can exist in a wheat field but corn will swallow you whole
#this post brought to you by guy from wheat/potato/rapeseed farming area#I’m also pretty sure this has been said many many times but when I hear abt cornfields it’s normally joking abt like. is it iowa#or whatever just them being big#which yeah itself is fucking terrifying but god like corn is a Big Plant#ohhhhhh this is tapping into childhood memory I just realised. I might be making this up and it’s from smth else but#watership down when they’re in the field with the tractor? or maybe just hiding in a massive field?#but they’re rabbits so the plants are obviously Kinda Big#anyway cornfields are a monument to man’s hubris. we’ve taken this crop (which I will say was not meant to be grown like this)#that is significantly bigger than us and put them in nice evenly spaced rows for miles and miles#we grew a grass forest to eat but it Does Not Care About You. you are insignificant to the corn.#i do Not have the words to do this justice and again I have never seen cornfield this is all second hand but.#it’s all just so alien#I wonder what fairy stories we would’ve gotten about cornfields if they’d been around back then#this concludes cornposting hours.#luke.txt
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given that the ouroboros forms clearly take some inspiration from the Evangelion mech looks, I kinda wished they had leaned more into similar themes. where’s the body horror? the existential dread of existing in a much larger, stranger form? they get their literal limbs chopped off during fights and its just kind of brushed off since they regenerate.
in general I feel like the ouroboros powers were incredibly underutilized in the story after their initial introduction and unlocking. it was just sort of the protags power that made them able to be the protags, but the actual nature of fusing with someone and seeing their memories, being one with them, being essentially a giant monster, well I just wish it was gone into more.
#like. ouroboros is considered super important in game and they talk about it a ton butthen they dont do anything with it#mio and Noahs bond does begin bc of their memory sharing which I thought was a pretty good way to get two enemies to sympathize with each#other very quickly. but those two are also destined soulmates or smth so they must've made peace without ouroboros time and time again when#they defected to the city in the past. the other fusion pairs do have a nice bond but then again so does everyone else. in the end I feel#like ouroboros mostly just amounted to a gameplay gimmick and one that people might not even use that much#in fact the thing that ends up being most important about ouroboros is that they have keys to origin through Nia's power. nothing about the#actual forms themselves needed to be like that in order for them to have those keys. it feels disconnected like they wanted big mech forms#but failed to elaborate and im sad bc I want big fucked up organic mech forms :(((( I want them to suffer (lovingly)#xenoblade#xenoblade chronicles
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I do think it's a little silly when someone says they miss a piece of media... Like,the media is right there(probably) ! Go watch that show again or play that game again, it's (probably) not gone! But then also like. I get it. I suppose the first watch or experience of something is special and like, fandom hype around stuff if it was a popular piece of media is something you wouldn't experience within the show again, but also like,,,, you're mourning something that's not dead (usually) Create fan content! Watch that thing again! Engage with old fanworks! Cause someone will appreciate it, it will also make you happy!
#Having to put the stuff in brackets literally _just_ to account for Unnus Annus#Ugh#Sorry I didn't like that thing when it was still coming out and still don't like it now :thumbsup:#I was gonna make a funny meme post but I think it wouldn't be funny because I can't explain it using simple language#Impermenant media enjoyers be like#“Wow that trip to the beach was good. Shame I can never do that again because that's how the world works”#Or smth like that#It's not even funny I need to think of a funnier situation#My quelms with Unnus Annus are weird and complicated and no ones ever agreed with me about it so it's probabaly just a me thing#And not an actual legit critism of the thing sjsjsjsj#I write about more in a draft I have of a mini essay I was writing about DDLitG's ending that's like. A year old by now#I will finish it! Just permanently busy and when not permanently busy I'm permanently tired#It's like. It's mean! Which is a silly complaint but it ties into like. A trope I hate that I love how DDLitG does!#This kind of critism of attachment to a piece of media often insists on making the viewer feel dumb for liking a thing and I don't like it!#Unnus Annus kind of plays this kind of moral where it's like 'Oh#Unnus Annus plays this kind of trope like 'Oh-all of this is impermanent so don't get attached because you'll only have memories after uwu'#And like. I guess I get what they were going for. But that's just. People were getting sooo upset over being attached to the thing#Like they felt bad about it and just don't think that's a great thing to be perpetrating. I promise you can get attached to media guys.#I promise you you're allowed to like things:3#Also I realised I've been spelling Unus Annus wrong this whole time I apologise#Also not a huge fan of people acting like their in this super secret club for watching an extremely popular piece of media thats deleted#But that's definitely a me thing sjdndnsjs#Okay jeez I started ranting about this on a completely unrelated post sorry#Look forward to the mini essay whenever I finish it lol#Android.txt
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I assumed all the sisters had done communion to become sisters or something but bbf seemed surprised at the memory of rain
#1xr tag#I also don't get why it has to be done with others? Like is it to be supervised by#a diff one each time in some ceremonial situation or do only Watchers get#access to all fragments the others hold in their like genetic memory or something?#Idgi#Like it's all based in memories the Occupants store so... I guess it is probably just#mentoring each other through it? And maybe bbf hadn't seen the rain the first time#or she was recounting her first time seeing it#I just don't know then when they're chosen to do communions#Some shell was overheard mad someone else had been chosen to graduate which#presumably was about Watcher becoming Watcher? Maybe??#So do they do communions once they're trusted with the sister title or??#Can shells do communions as shells if they're deemed ready ?#I imagine maybe not since they could have less faith in allmother if entrusted w that much info#Kdksjf but also Principal wants that so idk#Nvm game desc answers quite a bit of this I'm stupid#Another question then is can they discuss communion memories with others#Like had Fixer been able to do that with Watcher when Watcher was still a shell#I was going to ask how come two close shells both managed to become sisters but... Principal meddling lol#Anyway then what determines the train#When Principal needs to boot someone I imagine? Or when she determines them#worthy to show allmother if that's even a concern anymore?#I doubt iris is sending them in her state#Just. Where do they go then. Do they become Occupant juice#Where did Fixer go after the train did she just fuck around and explore instead of going to allmo?I#The train is supposed to carry ppl off to fight against occupants with allmo but clearly#that's not what they'd find upon getting there so does Principal mess w the tracks?#Anyway re communion Principal asked Watcher how bb reacted to the communion to#see if traitorous behavior in the safety of its secrecy so... ig that's why watcher#has to do this w them bc it's to judge them. Like healer is next bc 'smth stirs in her'
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Brute: ah yes I have finally gotten Softie to communicate with Queen and Alpha which has already done wonders for basically repairing the former and beginning the repairs for the latter. Maybe I can finally be free from this hell of my own creation and live with my loved ones happily -]
The evil and nefarious Beats:
#rat rambles#eternal gales#oc posting#I love past timeline beats sm shes so. <3#bestie when the two people who she destroyed herself to be able to stand by suddenly go oh yeah we were being shitty sorry lol#particularly with softie it burns because she had to smother and kill so many of her morals by staying by their side#so it feels like the rug is being pulled under her and she freaks out hard#despite the fact that shed at some point desperately wanted them to do smth like this them actually doing it feels like a personal betrayal#and for brute this is a particularly gnarly problem to try to keep from escalating#mainly because with the others even though shit is messy and complicated it ultimately could be largely helped through communication#but its that exact communication that causes beats to spiral and its rly hard for them to try to do damage control without like forcefully#seperating them the whole time which is Not feasible#and beats is a Very angry and vengeful person once you get on her shit list which is typically hard to do but this does it#which makes it hard to use memory carryover sceneanigans to help because even if brute fully explained the situation and looped enough#times to stop beats from getting flower powered shed still be fully on team lets just kill softie then#taking beats and removing her morals is a great way to get a guy who thinks murder can solve any problem#also this stuff is not at all easy to just fuck around and find out with because before Any of this other shit can happen softie needs#their character development first which is already a doozy to try and brute force#theres a reason why brute eventually said fuck it and rewound things to back when they were all kids#its not easy to be a relationship counselor to a group of teenagers who are very prone to murdering eachother and youre also a teenager#bro brute was a wrestler before all this they are Not equipt to deal with any of this#and even If they managed to get through all of that theyd still have to deal with the horrible realization that two completely separate#members of the friend group have been consistently murdering eachother every loop this whole time and now they have to deal with that#that never happens in canon ofc cause brute never got that far but I think if they did they'd just walk up to the time flower themself
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Thinking about that time in 6th when me and my friend at the time were just casually talking about how oh when we grow up we should just move to the French countryside together
#thoughts#oni talks#the closet was glass lmao#but also I have no memory for the context of the convo anymore but also it’s so specific and romantic for what??? we were just friends#this was just a random memory that popped up coz nostalgia brain? I remember she also made me a poster of artists I said I liked or thought#we’re okay (I was very weird/unsocialized at the time) and that was like the only poster I had on my wall iirc#omg I just realized something another memory I forgot she once put like a little ask out/confession note in my locker coz I was like#I don’t completely remember but I think I had been talking about how no one was interested in me or smth? but I like instantly recognized it#was hers? and called her out on it coz I thought at the time she was just trying to make me feel better but w/ hindsight#now I don’t think this was the case but if that was actually a confession oh my god my reaction would be so cursed#she was always talking about boys tho so pretty sure she was straight though our other friend at the time I’m fairly certain was gay#but I never knew for certain. Anyway it’s just wild looking back on old friendships like that now that I’m like older and out like#what in the hell was going on over there?? that isn’t even the weirdest gay childhood story shit that’s like how was I not out sooner lmao#that being said I may be older and out but god damn is the social stuff still hard as fuck#especially trying to make more queer friends or find a partner like why does it have to be so awkward & also I s2g#in the moment I never recognize anything but like way later I’ll mention it & bestie will just be like bro… thats flirting…#or I’ll wonder it later but even then it’s like my brain stalls like wtf do you even do#oni vents#tagging it that coz it’s more of a vent at the end coz wow sapphic self awareness may have improved but not by much god damn
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also on the topic of stocean. pucci and two of dios sons all have stands relating to memories - pucci w the discs, donatello with underworld (digging up the past) and whatever the fuck the other guy is called with bohemian rhapsody (playing on childhood nostalgia). i was like oh interesting theme but then what the fuck is rikiels stand why is it controlling floridan cryptids???
#lu.txt#i was like does that have smth to do with memory? am i reading too much into it??#um n e ways unrelated but ive come across a few people who were thirsting after rikiel and let me just say he is possibly one of the least#sexy jojo characters ever like#is the cow suit doing it for you ?#jjbaposting
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— SAIKI RELATIONSHIP HCS
☆ very hesitant to hug you/hold hands bc he is afraid he might shatter all your bones. prefers kisses, less can go wrong
☆ except that one time he kissed you and was so flustered that a whole galaxy exploded
☆ but it was one of those really distant, useless ones so he moved on
☆ or that time you held his hand and he literally started levitating ??
☆ finishes exams in two seconds then spends the rest of the time annoying you
'i don't mean to disturb you but i noticed you put the wrong answer for question four' 'get out of my head!'
☆ i already wrote a drabble about this but he morphs into different objects to 'prank' you
☆ you always want him to shrink bc what's the point of having a psychic bf if you can't carry him around on your person like a polly pocket
☆ he's very apprehensive about it, however one day he finally agrees to it because you have a shift at work and you really wanted him to join you but it would be weird if he just showed up to your place of work unannounced so he shrunk and you carried him around in your back pocket
☆ that is until you almost sat on him!! and when he dived out to avoid being crushed, he fell onto the sticky work floor covered in dust
☆ still hasn't fully recovered 😿
☆ omg if you are insecure about a physical feature of yours , instead of using his powers to change you, he will use his mind control on the entire world so that your insecurity is now the beauty standard (similar to what he did with his hair)
☆ he doesn't use mind control on you though bc it's rude
☆ in fact he tries to avoid using his powers on you all together bc it would only cause trouble (with the exception of telepathy bc he likes to speak to you.. unlike he does with most people)
☆ and he's very strict with that ethic of his
☆ which is nice and all, and really easy until he does something super embarrassing in front of you
☆ like you see him scream at a cockroach or smth
☆ and he is SO tempted to use memory alteration on you so you could just forget that ever happened
☆ but he just can't bring himself to do it
☆ OR when your birthday was before his so he got you a present but didn't do that much else, but when it was time for his birthday and you went all out, he so wanted to either go back in time and do better or just alter your memory so you think he went all out too
☆ oh and passive aggression doesn't work on him ofc
☆ if you are ever mad or upset at him for whatever reason, you can't be like 'hmph i'm not gonna tell you what you did wrong, you just have to know :<' bc he can.. y'know.. read your mind
☆ and he also knows exactly what to do to make you feel better and forgive him, every single time
☆ plus you can never stay mad at him for long anyway bc he's just too cute!!
☆ too shy to admit that he wants to spend more time with you so he will use his powers as some sort of excuse
as you're about to leave saiki's room, he lies, 'wait. don't go. i have had a precognition that something terrible is going to happen to you if you do.' 'really?' you raise an eyebrow. 'and what might that be?' he wasn't really ready for any follow up questions so he stutters and thinks of the scariest scenario he can 'toritsuka.' ... 'toritsuka is going to do what? jump me?' 'no. just toritsuka.'
☆ for your birthday or anniversary he does something you call the 'saiki special' where he duplicates himself to give you a full body massage
☆ it's what dreams are made of !!!
☆ but yeah it's a lot of effort so he saves it for special occasions
☆ he would so love to watch trashy reality tv shows with you
☆ but he so uses it against you
☆ like if you are ever studying and are like 'why am i working so hard when you are psychic and can literally set us up for the easy life 😫'
☆ he'll be like.. you know who else never worked hard a day in they're life.. the kardashians!! do you really want to end up like that??
☆ and when you say yes this is the face he makes 😐
☆ dw though bc as i said before he will be in your head during exams so he can help you a little
☆ his love language is actually spoonfeeding you food and desserts
☆ and yes he actually uses his hands opposed to his mind to control the spoon, just to show you that being a psychic doesn't mean he gets to cut corners!
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